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My young niece had hurt her back at work. She had to go to hospital for a few days. We went up to see her – just the close family.
There are 20 visitors in the hospital room. When Barbara uses the term 'close family' she refers to her adult children and their spouses, her grandchildren, her niece's parents and siblings, her brother's family and finally her niece's husband and his mother, father and siblings. An Australian South Sea Islander family can number into the hundreds.
And there she was lying in bed, looking worn out. We hated seeing her like that. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer each other up, laughing, singing, just being silly - trying to raise each other's spirits.
How do you cope with sadness and pain? Barbara's family copes with painful situations by laughing and trying to cheer each other up. Barbara's niece feels ten times better with her family nearby. This visit from her family is more important than a visit from a specialist or a nurse.
We weren't being really noisy, but there were a fair few of us. We were surrounding the bed, and overflowing out onto the balcony. It's lucky my niece was in a room by herself.
Australian South Sea Islander patients often have many visitors. Think about ways that you can minimise disturbance to other patients.
Then a nurse walked into the room. She just gave us an ugly look, and said, 'I'm sorry; some of you will have to leave. Immediate family only.'
And we all looked at each other out of the corners of our eyes, and we knew what we were all thinking: we are the immediate family!
Many Australian South Sea Islanders communicate through the use of the body language. They are able to 'read' each other using subtle facial expressions.
We said absolutely nothing to her. Just shut up, silent. Not a word.
But after she had left, we started talking. We tried to work out what to do.
Before deciding on an argument, response or course of action, some Islanders prefer to discuss the matter as a family. A decision is made together.
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