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Supporting someone with a mental illness can be a challenging experience that pushes you along unexpected and unknown paths. Trying to make sense of your feelings, the illness, and the whole situation brings many questions with sometimes even fewer answers. This is not an unfamiliar experience, many families and carers often relate feeling this way.
The initial shock
Mental Illness affects every member of a family - whether parent, spouse, child or sibling. Most people have had limited or no previous experience of mental illness and may experience a whole range of feelings. Some of the reactions commonly experienced by family members are:
GUILT: Where did I go wrong? Did I do anything to cause this?
STIGMA: What will other people think, who can I talk to?
FEAR: of what will happen to them or of the person harming themselves or becoming violent.
FRUSTRATION/ ANGER: at being unable to do anything or get any real help.
HURT: at criticism from people who just don't understand.
GRIEF: at the loss of the person as you knew them before the illness.
You are not alone in feeling these things and it is important that you seek support for
yourself and other family members.
Caring for yourself
When someone with a mental illness is in crisis, there may be a need to constantly be 'on duty' and provide 24-hour support. However when the crisis is over and things have startled to settle down it is ok to take a step back and not always be available.
No one can be physically and emotionally involved all the time without it affecting his or her own emotional and physical health.
It will greatly add to your peace of mind if you equip yourself to handle the day-to-day demands of caring as well as crisis situations. Some things you can do include:
This information has been adapted from "Coping with Mental Health Problems: A Handbook for Carers" produced by Arafmi Queenland.
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