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Both my husband and my son had difficulty accepting my daughter being diagnosed with mental illness. Now after many years they have become more understanding of mental illness as a whole – not just within our immediate family. We also found it hard that ‘friends’ of long standing, were unable to provide much support to us. In fairness this was probably due in part to their limited knowledge of mental illness and therefore they had their own problems acknowledging what we were dealing with. (Mum)
My sister’s mental illness changed our family forever. We had been a peaceful, loving family with a positive outlook on life. Suddenly we were dealing with suicide attempts, accusations and paranoia. Everyone reacted in different ways and it literally tore us apart. Our family and friends treated us with suspicion believing the delusions that she shared were real. My dear parents argued and cried and slowly died inside. I felt utterly helpless.
The mental health system let us down badly and my sister’s schizophrenia progressed from bad to worse. She ‘disappeared’ without a trace for eighteen months and we were devastated, not sure if she were alive or dead. When she reappeared with her husband and baby we were just so relieved. Thrilled to have her back in our lives on whatever terms were laid out. Our rollercoaster ride of caring and loving her went on for eleven years until she ended her life in the winter of 1996. Her death shattered my world and my life has never been the same since. (Sister)
I loved her but she was so egocentric and so needy. You could never make her feel better when she was low and she “ran” over the top of me and everyone else when she was manic. My father was an ostrich. Nobody told us what was going on – maybe no one knew? (Daughter)
It has affected my family greatly and still does. Like me, they had no dealings with mental illness and thought their sister was a spoilt brat at first until I gathered all the information I could put my hands on to help me understand more and to convey what I learnt to my children. In one way, it has split the family because they still cannot comprehend mental illness, as they are busy with their own children - my grandchildren.
Whenever we have a family get together I know my family, including myself, are very careful with our choice of words in case my daughter becomes up set and has an outburst. This makes it very unpleasant for everyone. (Mum)
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