Dr Angela Owens
It’s the end of January; the holidays are over, and the kids are all back at (or starting) school.
New teachers have been met, new friends are being made, new things are being learned… and exhaustion is probably about to hit.
The transition into, or back to school doesn’t end when you wave your kids off wearing their [sometimes oversized] uniforms and backpacks full of pencils and notepads. Rather, it marks the start of a whole new series of adventures and challenges.
Getting used to earlier starts in the mornings, packing lunches and juggling after-school commitments or weekend sports can leave both parents and children a little out of sorts, but developmental paediatrician Dr Angela Owens says that by approaching school routines with intention and gentle preparation, families can create routines that feel nourishing rather than overwhelming.
Whether it’s your child’s first time at school, or they’re returning for another year, here are Dr Owens’ top ten tips to keep the whole family in a positive rhythm.
1. Accept that the first few weeks may be harder – that’s normal
The start of the school year is a big adjustment. New routines, expectations, teachers and social dynamics can all be exhausting, so it’s very common for behaviour to be more challenging at home in the first few weeks.
Tip: Don’t panic! For most children, this settles within a month as they find their feet.
2. Afternoon ‘restraint collapse’ is real
Many children hold it together all day at school, then fall apart as soon as they see their ‘safe person’. This isn’t misbehaviour – it’s exhaustion.
Tip: Bring a snack for pick-up time, avoid asking lots of questions straight away, and keep the first 30-60 minutes after school low-demand. Some children regulate best with movement rather than talking, so going to a park, riding a bike or dancing to favourite music can help release the day’s built-up stress.
3. Protect sleep routines as much as you can
Sleep patterns often drift during the holidays, but consistent sleep and wake times are among the most powerful tools for emotional regulation, attention and learning.
Tip: Aim for a consistent pattern across the week, including weekends. This helps regulate melatonin and support smoother mornings and calmer afternoons.
4. Fuel their brain, even if breakfast is tricky
Some children struggle with breakfast, especially early in the year. The goal doesn’t have to be a perfect meal – just something. Learning brains need fuel; even small amounts can make a big difference to focus and stamina.
Tip: If a solid meal is too much, a protein-based smoothie, breakfast drink, or quick grab-and-go option is a great alternative.
5. Use social stories to prepare for tricky moments
For younger children, social stories can help them understand and rehearse situations that feel overwhelming, like drop-off separation, playground issues, or classroom expectations.
Tip: You can use AI tools (like ChatGPT or Google Gemini’s Storybook feature) to draft personalised stories. Simply enter your child’s age, interests and the specific worry.
Ask the tool to weave in regulation or coping strategies – like taking deep breaths, asking for help, using a calm space, or positive self-talk – to model what your child can do when things feel hard.
A simple picture chart of the week’s routine can also help your child visualise what’s coming and prepare for changes ahead of time. Keep these stories and visuals reassuring, age-appropriate and focused on problem-solving, with a bit of fun or silliness added in.
6. Give teachers a one-page snapshot
Teachers are getting to know 20+ children at once, particularly in the busy early weeks of the term. A quick ‘cheat sheet’ helps them support your child from day one.
Tip: If your child has specific needs or preferences, create a one-page summary of their strengths, interests, challenges and ‘what works’ for regulation. While detailed reports are useful later, this quick snapshot can be a game-changer when emotions are running high.
7. Focus on regulation before expectations
If a child is overwhelmed, tired or emotionally ‘flooded’, learning and behavioural expectations won’t land. Prioritising emotional regulation and connection early in the term sets children up for academic and social success once things settle.
Tip: Use predictable routines and calm transitions in the morning to build confidence. A familiar “pump-up” song in the car on the way to school can act as a positive emotional cue. Songs like Roar (Katy Perry), Can’t Stop the Feeling (Justin Timberlake), Happy (Pharrell Williams) or This Is Me (from The Greatest Showman) can have an impact before they hit the school gate.
You can also externalise big feelings by helping your child separate who they are from what their emotions by turning them into a character. For example, anxiety becomes the ‘Worry Monster’ or refusal becomes ‘Mr No’. This allows you to talk about the feeling in the third person: “It sounds like the Worry Monster is being very loud this morning - how can we help him?”
This reduces shame, ensures the child doesn’t feel like they are the problem, and makes problem-solving easier.
8. It’s okay to use rewards during the early transition
The return to school can be a big emotional shift – moving away from the flexibility, fun and family time of the holidays, and back into routines and expectations. In the first few weeks, it’s okay to use rewards to support school attendance and emotional adjustment.
Tip: Where possible, focus on connection-based rewards rather than food or toys. Great examples include extra one-on-one time playing a favourite game together, letting your child be the “car DJ” who picks the soundtrack for the drive home, or enjoying a special shared activity after school.
9. Restart daily reading together – it has long-term benefits
The start of the school year is a great time to restart shared reading at home. Spending just 10 minutes a day reading together supports language development, attention, emotional regulation and long-term academic outcomes.
Tip: For younger children, remember that being read to still counts; talking about the pictures, predicting what happens next, or relating the story to their own experiences all build important skills.
For older children, taking turns reading or simply listening to them read helps rebuild their confidence after the break and strengthens that parent–child connection.
10. Keep fun on the calendar – it’s protective
During school holidays, families naturally build in fun and connection, but once school and work routines return, those moments are often the first thing to drop off. Making a conscious effort to schedule something enjoyable each week – even something small – supports emotional wellbeing, resilience and connection.
Tip: Aim for one shared family activity each week, and where possible, brief one-on-one time with each child.
These moments don’t need to be elaborate, but they do help children feel seen, valued and emotionally ‘topped up’ during busy weeks.
When to seek extra support
It’s also important to remember you don’t have to navigate the hard days alone.
If you find your child – or yourself – struggling to settle or feeling overwhelmed for an extended period, reaching out to your GP for extra guidance is a great next step.