Meet your Parents' Group

What if there was a parents' group you could join from anywhere... one that was honest, supportive, and always had a laugh (or a cry) when you needed it most?

In Episode 1 of Parent’s Group, Season 4 of It Can’t Hurt To Ask by Queensland Health, your hosts Steph, Alex and Caitlin kick off the season by welcoming you into this virtual parent’s group. Together, they share their own parenting journeys — the highs, the challenges, and the messy middle — and set the scene for what’s to come this season.

This series will explore the first 2,000 days of your child’s life, from pregnancy through to starting school, with a focus on supporting parents’ mental wellbeing. You’ll hear expert advice from Queensland Health clinicians alongside honest, real stories from parents across the state.

Because no matter what stage you’re in, whether you’re soaking up the joy or counting down to bedtime, you’re not alone.

Featured in this episode

Caitlin

Caitlin is the proud mum of a busy, maths-loving and dino-obsessed 7-year-old and a sassy, creative, princess-obsessed 4-year-old. She loves the mess and magic of motherhood and manages the extra complexity of parenting a child with a disability and navigating her own physical birth injury.

In between her paid work in digital marketing, school and kindy drop offs, playdates, and kids' sports, therapy and extracurricular activities, Caitlin relishes the moments she gets to herself and the simple joys of a hot shower (bliss!), warm cuppa and chatting with her besties on the drive home from work.

Steph

Steph is a non-birthing mum of two kids — a 6-month-old and a 3-year-old. Her wife carried both of their babies and is currently a stay-at-home mum while Steph works full-time in communications.

As a mum of 2 little ones, Steph doesn’t have time or energy for hobbies, but when she does get the chance, she enjoys sitting down for more than 5 minutes and eating a meal when it is still hot.

Alex

Alex has spent more time raising kids than being one. He is a dad to an 18- and 17-year-old from his first marriage, and a 4-year-old from his second.

Between working in creative media and being a parent, he also enjoys playing guitar, cooking and martial arts (but only between 10pm and 12am when everyone is asleep). He lives with his 3 kids, wife and mum, leaning into the richness and chaos of intergenerational living.

Note

The stories and conversations shared by the hosts in this podcast reflect their personal views, experiences, and opinions. They are shared for informational and educational purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Queensland Health does not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the views expressed by guests and accepts no responsibility for any loss or damage that may result from relying on this content.

If you have questions about your health or treatment, please speak with a qualified healthcare professional.

Episode resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental wellbeing, support is available.

In an emergency always call Triple Zero (000).

The following services can provide help and counselling to you in non-emergency situations.

13HEALTH: call 13 43 25 84 and talk to a registered nurse 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby Helpline: call 1800 822 436 to speak with a trained counsellor about the first year of your child’s life.

Parentline: call 1300 301 300 for advice and counselling about any issue that affects you as a parent. Available from 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.

Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA): contact PANDA on 1300 726 306 or chat online if you or your partner are feeling depressed, or you are struggling after the birth of your child. Available from Monday to Friday, 9am–7pm.

MensLine Australia: call 1300 789 978 if you’re a man and have family or relationship concerns. Available 24 hours a day.

Lifeline: call 13 11 14 (24 hours a day) if you are experiencing a personal crisis or chat to a counsellor online.

Beyond Blue: call 1300 224 636 for broad mental wellbeing support or speak to a counsellor online.

ForWhen: call 1300 242 322. Available Monday – Friday 9.00am–4.30pm.

SMS4DADS: sign up for free text messages, support, info and tips – for dads and dads-to-be.

Raising Children Network: offers ad-free parenting videos, articles and apps backed by Australian experts.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program: free parenting courses for parents and carers of children under 12.

Queensland Health Child Health Clinics: Child health services have clinics across the state to provide parenting information and support for families in Queensland. Free services may include nutrition, child growth and development assessments. You need to book an appointment for these services.

Transcript

Caitlin

Hello, and welcome to season 4 of It  Can't Hurt To Ask a Podcast by Queensland Health.

I'm Caitlin.

Alex

I'm Alex.

Steph

And I'm Steph, and we'll be your host this season as we dive into the early years of parenthood.

This season's a little bit different and I'm excited to do something new with It Can't Hurt To Ask. You know, we are turning this podcast into what we are thinking of as a bit of a virtual parents group. It's a space where you all of us can talk honestly about those early years and share a few laughs and reassure each other that whatever you're feeling, it is normal.

Alex

I'm really excited for this, for the main reason that I didn't actually join a parents' group when, when the kids were born.

Steph

Neither. Neither did I

Alex

So this will be really fun to go through, right? And like I'm a bit nervous to be honest as well, so, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see how we go.

Steph

I think, yeah, I think I'm gonna have a couple of tears.

Caitlin

But, um, yeah, no, I'm super excited too.

Steph

We're covering how we may feel as parents for the first 2000 days of your child's life, starting with pregnancy all the way up to when your child is five, or getting ready to start prep. There's so much we could cover.

Oh my gosh, we could be here all day, all week, all month. Um, but this season we are really honing in on mental wellbeing for parents, which is super important.

Caitlin

Yeah, really important.

So every episode will be broken up into a focus on different stages and different ages. Each stage brings exciting developments for your child, which often comes hand in hand with some unique challenges for those raising them.

I'm sure we all remember that well.

Alex

Yeah, those phases are really distinct, aren't they? It's like, it feels like it's going forever and then all of a sudden the next day they've changed and you're into that next phase and you're like...

Caitlin

Absolutely.

Alex

Yeah. So, so different. It was really interesting watching all that as, as you kind of seeing the kids grow.

So, throughout theseries we'll be joined by clinicians and lived experience practitioners from Queensland Health.

So you'll hear expert advice alongside real parents stories from across Queensland.

Steph

Yeah. And some of those real stories will be from us because we're all parents and, um, we're coming at this probably from pretty different experiences. Yeah. But, um, it'll be interesting to see where that crossover is.

I think it's important to, um, talk about it together and really just see that there's no perfect way to parent. Everyone has a different perspective. Um, and yeah, we're all just working it out as we go along.

Alex

Well, before we get started, um, let's acknowledge the Traditional custodians of the land on which we record this podcast. For us, that is Meanjin.

That is the land of the Yuggera and the Turrbal people, and we pay our respects to elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander listeners, as well as parents and carers raising the next generation.

Caitlin

We've all got our own stories when it comes to parenting and over the season we'll be sharing little bits of those along the way. Hopefully not too much 'cause I can definitely be an oversharer, but let's see how we go.

Steph

Let's see how we go. Uh, Caitlin, I know you've  got 2 kids, but I don't really know much else.

Caitlin

Okay.

Steph

Can you tell us a bit about your parenting journey, experience,

Caitlin

Absolutely. Well, in a nutshell, I'm Caitlin. I have a beautiful husband, 2 kids. I've got a little girl who's 4 and a son who is 7.

Um, I really. Always wanted to be a parent. It was my dream. I couldn't hold a baby without crying for a while there because I so desperately wanted to be a mom. And I tell my son, my son, he made my dream come true. So great. He's acutely aware and I tell my daughter that too, 'cause she can't possibly be left out.

Um, I think I can bring a lot of variety in my experience to this podcast. I've had, um, a C-section birth, a VBAC. I parent a child with a disability. I've had physical birth trauma. I struggled with my mental wellbeing during pregnancy and postpartum with both of my babies. I'm parenting without my mom, so dealing with the grief of that.

I love a lot about parenting, which people don't talk about often.

You know, I think people do focus on the challenges, but I love the silliness of being a mom. I love, I get to play, I love reading storybooks. I love the moment after you give birth and you look at this baby and you get to see what they look like, and then as the years go on, you get to learn who they are.

It's so joyful to sort of observe this unfolding of a human being and learn who they're going to be in the world, which can also be challenging sometimes when they, um, are like a little mirror to yourself. And I just love the nurturing and responsibility of caring for someone, being that person who's able to.

Provide comfort, you know, being the hugger, the person who fixes the ouchies, the one who answers the big life questions, the one who gives the hugs, that make everything okay. It's a real privilege and I don't ever take it for granted because you know, it was hard to fall pregnant. So I look at these babies and I do think sometimes that they're a miracle, and I feel lucky that they're mine.

What about you, Alex?

Alex

Yeah, that was really cool. I really like your, your approach to all that. Uh, so I'm Alex. Um, I have 3 children. Uh, I had my first child at 27, the next one at 28, and the last one at 41. So quite a big age gap there. Um, so my eldest is my son. He's about to turn 18. So actually I'm gonna be a parent to a, an adult, which is strange.

Steph

Wow.

Alex

Um, my eldest daughter is 16 and my youngest daughter is about to be four, and she is a whirlwind. Doing this all again, a little bit older, I gotta say, is different. It's different. It's a little bit of a challenge. We also live with my mom since my dad passed away, so she's 85. And so there's me, my wife, 2 older children, a young one, and my mom in the house when everyone's at home.

Uh, my first 2 children were from  a previous marriage, so there's beena divorce, um, when they were very young, so 2 and 3 years old. That was really devastating I've gotta say, but over time we got there. We put our differences aside, in the service of being parents to these 2 amazing children, and we really focused on that.

I had never, ever thought about being a parent. I met my first wife on one of the first dates we went on. I went to kiss her, I put my hand on her tummy. I got like an electric shock in my hand and I just knew. She would be the woman who would have my children.

It was the strangest feeling.

Steph

That is wild. Yeah.

Alex

And it was just the most intense feeling I'd ever felt. Um, and she was. Wow. And then we split up.

Caitlin

Were your 2 beautiful kids...

Alex

But we did have 2 beautiful children, and we were married 8 years. You know, we, we, we gave it a really good crack. What I'm gonna bring to the podcast, I guess is, uh, a male perspective.

Mm-hmm. Um, the experience of shared parenting, shared custody, remarrying, different age ranges, age gaps, um, blended families and also cultural differences. My wife now is from Thailand. Our daughter is mixed Thai Australian, and as much as possible we try and keep that connection going strong with her family overseas and her culture and her language.

My favorite part about parenting is just being dad. It just made me a better person. I remember when my first child was born, I made some big decisions. Um, one of them was just to be an honest person, and I've kept that going ever since. It's just made such a difference in my life just to be that kind of real standup person I can be proud of.

Anyway, enough about me. How about you, Steph?

Steph

Yeah, thanks Alex. Um, so I'm Steph. My wife and I have 2 children, uh, so a baby who's 6 months old, and then our daughter is, 3 years old.

So, deep in the trenches at the moment. I'm the non birthing mom to our kids, so my wife, carried, both of our kids. We did IVF, couldn't try the good old fashioned way of course, but, um, took 2 years of, procedures and appointments and all that kind of stuff. But you know, we were really certain that we wanted to be moms and it was all worth it because our daughter is just, she's such a gift and, has just absolutely changed our life.

And then, our son...we were like, you know what, why don't we just try, why don't we just give it a  try and see what happens?

And it worked. Which was so surprising considering the first time it took such a long time. Um, and he has just been like this little missing puzzle piece that we never knew that we needed in our lives.

He just has absolutely completed our family, which has been, so nice, but obviously, uh, hasn't been without challenges.

I struggled quite a lot with my mental health after our daughter was born, due to my wife having quite a traumatic birth. We've definitely had our ups and downs, but, um, being a parent has changed me in ways that I never imagined, and it's just been the best thing that I've ever done.

I, um, never wanted to have kids, it just never appealed to me at all. Um, I had. And still have absolutely no interest in being pregnant and giving birth.

I could not think of anything worse. Like props, props to anyone that has done it. You are braver than me. Stronger than me. I could not and will not do that.

Alex

Um, so you and your wife weren't drawing straws at home. That was just...

Steph

No. And she deeply, deeply wanted to be pregnant.

Alex

Okay.

Steph

So, I mean it lined up very well for the both of us.

But yeah, I, you know, didn't realise I was a lesbian for a long time. Didn't realise that same-sex couples could have children. It just was off the table for me.

And then I met my wife and, um, she's always wanted to be a mum. And, over time and after thinking about it, I was like, yeah, I do want a family. I think, I think I'll be a good mum. And I think that like it would be amazing to, um, build our family and share our love with little people and yeah, grow up these little people.

Caitlin

Parenting can feel incredibly isolating sometimes, especially in those early years where routines are new and it can be quite hard to find support.

Steph

And that's why we wanted to create a podcast that felt like a check-in with your group chat, but one that comes with professionals who work with parents and children every day.

Alex

And it's also a reminder that your mental health matters just as much as your baby's sleep schedule.

Steph

So where do we begin?

Caitlin

At the very beginning: pregnancy.

We are gonna talk about what is happening in your body and the emotional ups and downs with a beautiful Queensland midwife.

Steph

And then after pregnancy, we'll move through the different stages,There'll be expert advice, but also real talk about comparison, lack of sleep, changing identities, and how to keep showing up even when it's really, really hard. But if there's one message we hope you take away, it's that you're doing better than you think.

Alex

We are really glad you're here.

Whether you're listening during a 2:00 AM feed, a walk in the park. In the pr...

Steph

I wanna be in the room. Push me baby.

Alex

The amount of times I've pushed my kids and just gone can we swap roles? I wish. Yeah.

Caitlin

We'll see you next week, guys. Until then, welcome to Parents Group. Bye.